Living at home after surgery was a large adjustment. All the habits and routines that I took for granted suddenly became monumental feats of strength. I leaned on my friends a great deal for the first week after surgery because I couldn’t take care of myself without help.

Medication Management

I was sent home from the hospital with specific instructions to stay on top of a laundry list of prescriptions. I had an antibiotic, oxycodone, stool softener, acetaminophen, and ibuprofen. Because each medicine had to be taken like clockwork, keeping track of all those medicines was a big job, especially when emotions were high and sleep was scarce. Like a broken record, I wanted to know when I could take my next pain medication. 

I printed two medication management spreadsheets. The first allowed me and my friends to track every dose of medicine I took and easily determine when I could take the next dose of each medicine. Thanks to that spreadsheet, it was simple to ensure I wasn’t taking too many pain pills too close to each other. We also set alarms on our phones to ensure we didn’t skip any doses. The second spreadsheet was a handy reference guide that displayed key facts about each medication. What it treats, how much to take, and how often to take it were all easy to find.

Living with a Catheter Bag

I found the essentials of keeping a catheter bag pretty easy. Every time I stood up, I carried it with me. Every time I laid down, I ensured it was hung lower than my bladder so it would fill properly. When the bag itself was approaching the full line, I emptied it into the toilet manually. Every day, I cleaned the entire exposed length of the catheter tube with a wet wipe, especially around the surgery site. I was grateful I didn’t have to worry too much about yanking the catheter tube and causing discomfort because there was a strain relief holster adhered to my inner thigh that prevented unforeseen tugs from affecting the surgery site.

On the other hand, however, I found the reality of having a catheter in for a week was not easy. It gave me lots of wild sensations. If it did manage to get tugged in the wrong way, a lurching queasy sensation happened, sending me to reflexively curl up until the feeling passed. This usually happened while I adjusted the part of the tube nearest the surgery site so it would sit correctly under my underwear. If it weren’t sitting correctly, my urethra would feel irritated and intensely uncomfortable. I found that adhering a strain relief holster to my other leg allowed the tube to sit much more comfortably against my underwear.

When emptying the catheter bag, the fluid can drain so quickly that it creates a bizarre sensory experience of having your bladder feel like it’s being vacuumed empty. When this happened, I would keel over to cope with the sensation.

In certain positions while laying down for long periods of time, I found that the urine has a hard time leaving my body to get to the catheter bag. As a result, it felt like I had to pee. Once I stand up properly, all of the urine starts flowing automatically without any input from your body.

Comfortable Underwear

I originally bought multiple sets of classic panty-style underwear for use during recovery. Unfortunately, however, I found that the cut of these underwear put lots of stress along my inner thigh, pulling at my surgery site. My friends helped me experiment to find underwear that didn’t irritate my surgery site. I preferred women’s boxer-brief style underwear. It hugged my body in all the right ways, was able to hold pads, and did not stress my surgical site. 

Inability to be comfortable

The swelling, vaginal packing, and catheter create constant discomfort. Sitting upright was the most unbearable. Even while using a donut pillow I still felt like I could only put about half my body weight on my sitting bones before it felt like too much. As a result, I was regularly switching between walking and reclining for the entire first week. Unfortunately, if I stood for about 5 minutes straight or more, the swelling would increase and bring with it a lot of pain. As a result, I spent most of my days that week laying down.

Even while laying down on my back I didn’t feel completely comfortable. I found that placing pillows beneath my lower back and knees helped alleviate pressure from the surgical site and allowed me to sleep soundly. Even then, unfortunately, I experienced some constant mild discomfort that, fortunately, was easy to tune out and sleep through.

Sitting upright on a couch felt nearly impossible, even though the couch was so soft and squishy. If I laid down on the couch and a friend sat at the far end, any small rustling the friend made would trigger discomfort. I loved sitting in recliners, but having to exert lots of force to activate the handle was very difficult.

Pain from Stressing the Diaphragm

Coughing, sneezing, and, most inconveniently, laughing were all extremely painful. The diaphragm movements required for each of these put too much pressure on the surgical site and triggered pain and discomfort. I had to require that my friends write down all their witty quips in a notepad to read to me at a later time because I could not bear to do more than a shallow fake laugh or giggle.

As much as I wanted to play board games with my friends or work on puzzles, I couldn’t sit positioned over a table for long periods of time. I needed to stay laying down. Regardless, my mental ability was severely hindered. I could carry conversation well, but I even found video games difficult if they required any amount of dexterity or cognition. Mindless entertainment like television, podcasts, and simple smartphone games was the best entertainment for me personally.

Moving regularly to prevent blood clots

Prior to surgery, I posted a cute poster of an anime girl giving a high five. I nicknamed her Clottia and set hourly reminders on my phone to give her a high five. I positioned her far away from my primary care room so I would have to walk through a hallway and across the kitchen to reach her and back. Especially during this first week, all the rooms felt so far from each other. I would have to take a few breaks on my way to high five Clottia and hold a friend’s hand for stability as I walked. I’m grateful that my care room, living room, game room, bathroom, and kitchen were all on the same floor.

Meals and snacks

I made sure to exclude spicy, overly crunchy, high dairy, and high fat foods from my diet. I avoided spicy foods in case a complication were to occur where a hole appeared between my vaginal canal and anal tract, I didn’t want to have spicy foods make that experience even worse. I found out the hard way that eating lots of crunchy and sharp foods like mixed nuts could result in very sharp stool. I also made the mistake of eating too much peanut butter, a very high fat food, and had to cope with the resulting constipation. Constipation from fat and dairy is much easier to experience since anesthesia already promotes constipation. Even though I’m not lactose intolerant or celiac, avoiding large amounts of dairy, fat, and gluten helped me avoid bloating and constipation. 

I stuck with simple soft foods that were easy to digest and made for healthy stool. Lots of vegetables, fruits, and legumes. One of my friends meal-prepped a week’s worth of food for me. I had a variety of options for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I’d recommend having at least 3-4 distinct recipes as options for each mealtime for a grand total of 9-12 recipes just to keep a wide variety of food available. Minimal prep-work for each meal. Ideally, you can pull a container out of the fridge and eat it directly or after a few minutes in the microwave.

Having fruits, vegetables, and the occasional candy you enjoy as snacks is also important. I loved having Peanut M&Ms, clementines, seedless grapes, and a veggie tray with hummus ready to roll at a moment’s notice.

In-house help

I needed near constant help during my first week. It’s important to spread the burden across at least two people. Putting all the late nights, early mornings, and demanding days on one person can burn them out extremely quickly. My friend generously took a week off of work to stay with me and be one of my caretakers. After a week, I was significantly stronger and was ready to receive only occasional help from my roommate.